Quotes of the Week: For He Is Risen

“This tiny Korean man came up to me and said, ‘You got big balls. I like them.’
NYC’s ‘sex spa’ is grossing people out – NY Post

I could take up the torch and fight for bi visibility and break down walls of gender expression and stereotyping, but I have my hands full just being Black in NYC and trying not to get arrested. Y’all can fight that fight. There’s enough social justice to go around for everyone.
So I went home with a lesbian last night.

Instead, my sadness is due to the health-related death of another black man not even close to the age when health-related deaths are supposed to happen. And I’m just as scared as I am sad.
Dear Black Men, Please Go to the Damn Doctor (The Root)

If PrEP reduced near 100% cases of heart failure, cancer, diabetes rather than HIV would there be a debate at all?
Jamie Murphy via Twitter

TMZ is doing real journalism.
The news is doing entertainment.
And presidential candidates are doing dick jokes.
The end is near.
Trevor Noah via Twitter

He said something similar in an on-camera interview with VladTV, suggesting that he wouldn’t want to hold hands with a man on the street out of respect for his children. In the background of the video an off-camera voice says, “So you’re not free.” A representative of VladTV confirmed with Broadly that the voice belongs to Anthony Cherry, Yusaf’s manager. “It shouldn’t matter who you love,” Cherry says.
‘I Love Trannies’: Boxer Yusaf Mack Fights for His Attraction to Trans Women (Broadly)

You don’t have to be a hit to be a success.
Why smaller iOS developers would be smart to head back to the Mac (Macworld)

Find someone as utterly obsessed with you as Doug Stamper is with Frank Underwood.
#HouseofCards

If you stop learning, you will forget what you already know.
Proverbs 19:27

Quotes of the Week: Off the Beaten Path

Trying to get ready for #MAL2016 and I keep fucking up my nail polish.
Scooter McCreight via Twitter

Strangest Oscar nomination: “Spectre” for best original song. That song sucks.
One of the few times I disagree with John Gruber

Jennifer Lawrence is that white girl in your biology lab who goes on ratemyprofessor to complain about the instructor’s accent.
Yikes!

I was also asked to audition for a part in “The Martian” (not Kapoor), but I skimmed the script and — no offense — it seemed like a boring movie about a white guy stuck on Mars for two hours who gets fired up about plants, so it didn’t seem worth taking a break from my own projects. (I’ve heard the film is fantastic.)
Aziz Ansari on Acting, Race and Hollywood (NY Times)

But once everyone has declared whether they think cruising is yucky or sexy, no one asks: What is cruising really about? What needs, beyond orgasm, does it satisfy? And why do openly gay men do it when there are so many other options?
Searching in the Shadows (Slate)

When it comes to the suitors, in the US, the majority are blue-collar men who feel disenfranchised from family life, says Zug. Blue-collar men are increasingly falling out of the marriage market as blue-collar women are finding better employment prospects, higher wages and opportunities to move up in the world, says Zug. Blue-collar women have started to see these men as more of a liability than an equal partner, so the men who want to get married have started to look elsewhere.
Mail-order brides: old practice still seen as new chance for a better life – for some (The Guardian)

“In all reality these kids are being taught to survive, and not to live,” Mr. Scruggs, 45, said.
Half of New Yorkers Say They Are Barely or Not Getting By, Poll Shows (NY Times)

In prewar apartments, glossy new kitchens are replacing tired old ones. Limestone fixer-uppers are commanding seven-figure prices. Cocktail bars are opening where fried chicken used to be sold from behind bulletproof glass. And the New Yorkers who lived there are drifting away, their former homes renovated to make way for white college graduates and young families.
Gentrification in a Brooklyn Neighborhood Forces Residents to Move On (NY Times)

For men in America with access to health care, HIV isn’t usually fatal. But it’s stigmatizing, expensive, and permanent.
When Condoms Aren’t Enough (The Atlantic)

The goal is to create a buzzworthy scene, push boundaries, explore limits, and pique the interest of paying consumers. Rarely is pleasure the objective.
James Deen, the Bill Cosby of Porn? A Third Accuser Comes Forward (The Daily Beast)

Hookers and Cocaine

I had lunch with a colleague today. We talked about academia, career and getting to happy. The meeting left me with more questions than answers, but it was a great time nonetheless.

I paid off five credit cards last year. I’ve never had this much disposable income in my adult life. It’s weird actually.

But I have no idea what I want.

I definitely want to keep traveling. I have some great plans for 2016. But other than that, I’ve got nothing. I tried dreamlining like I always do this time of year and didn’t come up with much. Nothing pragmatic anyway.

A coworker just retired after 30 years and plans to “disappear for a while.” That sounds amazing.

I know what I don’t want (always).

I no longer think I want a boyfriend. It might have been the Fleshjack that was the nail in the coffin.

I low key want to quit my job and follow Christina Aguilera around when the new album comes out. But I doubt we’ll get a proper tour.

I also kind of want to do something big for my 35th birthday. With strippers and debauchery and all my friends like I did for 26. That was legendary.

Dominican Wifey says this is all normal because it’s my Personal Year 9. I guess that makes sense. But what’s next? I hate these in between periods of my life. Although, that’s when things always get really interesting personally.

Did you see this Powerball video. I can’t stop laughing. This guy knows what he wants. This guy has dreams. I want to be that guy.

Let Go

It’s after midnight. I’m watching walkingh2o post all these half naked pictures of himself. The peanut gallery is requesting dick pics. I’m good with the back shots. I think he’s drunk, maybe high. Perhaps both? A sizable chub is brewing.

Marcus is one of my favorites. I’ve been watching him for close to a decade at this point. He’s the perfect size, that sexy dancer body, handsome in the face…

But what I’ve always really appreciated about him was his ability to let go. When he “goes off the rails” like this I just want to be inside his mind with a tub of popcorn. It’s a stream of consciousness with all these gems regarding sex, masculinity, what it means to be a man, etc.

I don’t have that type of personality.

I think that’s why I loved his Real Life Vlog series (since removed) so much. It was a window into a world I don’t really have personal access to.

Most of the risks I’ve taken (in my adult life) have been very premeditated. I’m not complaining, I just love to experience people cut from a different cloth.

Semi-related, there’s this interesting debate going on with what’s wrong with contemporary gay porn. If there were a spectrum of sex imagery and I were using my favorite black/brown boys as data points, Marcus and his ability to give it all raw and unfiltered would be at one end of the spectrum.

Someone like ShawnQT (another favorite) would be on the other end; calculated and (dare I say) safe. By his own admission he’s been able to wield his masculinity in service of his expanding #sexygeek brand.

Brian Nieh would be smack in the middle; the perfect mix of predictable and “What will he do next?”

We could all use a healthy dose of “Let Go” in 2016.

Daily Posts

I’ve been really inspired by YouTuber Casey Neistat. He recently talked about daily vlogging and how it’s gotten him to work on his craft in a different way than when he was trying to produce perfect videos. I’m guilty of the same. I’m a writer; I need to write.

So I’m committing to daily weekday posts in 2016. Maybe a little stream of consciousness, may be a full post, may be a podcast. Got to keep it exciting!

This should also help my academic writing. It was made perfectly clear in my first doctoral semester I need to be able to formulate my thoughts in a quicker turn around time than I’m used to.

Did I mention I’m in a PhD program?

Yeah, lots to catch up on.

Happy New Year,

– Dr. Sex Master

Quotes of the Week: Free at Last

Minion pumpkin
residual Halloween mischief

This piece should be called “The Down Low: It’s Not Just For Negroes Anymore”
Dehrenstein via NY Mag comments

“If there’s anybody out there who’s an adult and who would like to ask me out,” she says, “please call Harper’s Bazaar.”
I heart Sharon Stone

I’m like a swan. But not in the elegant grace way, in the way I’m surprisingly violent if you get between me and bread.
Sarah Jones via Twitter

My childhood (pre teen) best friend dropped out of a prominent women’s college in her sophomore year to run off to California with her computer programming prof. She got in on the ground floor of some major software firm and recently “retired” with beaucoup bucks. I have no idea what the lesson here is.
If you have an affair don’t have it with a humanities professor?
I dated my university professor – and it was a messy, eye-opening experience (The Guardian)

“I won’t get a better offer,” he said firmly.
Taking A Break for Friendship (NY Times)

From the looks of it, You got all the sugar you need…
I heart Brian Nieh commenters

Most of the single people I know are looking for someone. In general, human beings seem to be happier in relationships. Or maybe happy isn’t the right word.
Quirkyalone is Still Alone (NY Times)

It’s easy to understand where the “fakeness” comes from; there are indeed hucksters, peddlers of propaganda, fly-by-nighters, so people here must protect themselves, but it’s different in Miami. You don’t see these “masks” in New York or Chicago or Boston.
Miami Is So Fake It’s Frustrating (HuffPost)

Ego is cool. I need her to keep the ship afloat, and she definitely has skills to keep me tethered to the world. But she has no wisdom, no new ideas, and certainly no mercy. For that, I must venture a few floors down.
Amy Brenneman on The Leftovers Season 2

Love is another word for obligation. To love, truly, you must be in everlasting combat against your own desire to dominate those who might not have your strength, resources, or status.
The Matter of Forgiveness (Son of Baldwin via Gawker)

Six Years Later

Sixyears

We have a problem (more like an opportunity):

This blog turned six years old in July. It’s the longest I’ve ever had a blog, let alone a public one. When I started The Black Sex Master in 2009, I had just returned from San Francisco and needed a place to put the many thoughts racing through my mind regarding my Master’s experience.

Today, I’m back in NYC and simply put, happy. I still have much to say, but tend to get distracted enjoying my life.

It’s also interesting how important Boston Boy became to the “storyline” of this blog. People often ask me about him when they meet me in person. I guess that’s my fault. Some of these posts read like a romance novel gone wrong. Yikes! I think it’s time to return to me…get back to basics.

Anyway, let’s see what other tricks I have under my sleeve.

The truth is, I’m just getting started.

Quotes of the Week: Digging Deep

Patrick

picture at Gawker

Isn’t the point of having an affair is that you can pour champagne down someone’s ass and then drink it?
good question BeyoncesNoPantsDance

Christina that shit!
So mad I know what he meant and I didn’t even watch Eurovision.

What was Play-Doh thinking?
That mommy needs playtime too.
Zing!

Do you like waffles or pancakes?
Cakes. Always.
Jussie trolling his female fan base.

Who has dated a Puerto Rican man? Let’s share stories.
The replies!!

Cheryl Lynn and Anita [Baker] beefing is like your auntie’s spades game gone wrong and someone stood up.
#TeamAnita

I have encountered 10x more racism in the gay porn industry than in real life. From the models all the way to the studios. I’m tired of it.
Diesel Washington would be a great interview.

I don’t think people know what to do with a black girl who is free and a father who is fostering, rather than stifling, that freedom.
What If We Were Free?: Riley Curry and Blackgirl Freedom (Crunk Feminist Collective)

Music, like sex, can transport you.
cosign with Terry McMillan

Two passionate souls under the moon.
We can dance my love, under the heavens above, watch our world shed away to a brand new one. A new design that is faithful and true. A new life to share, a balance of me and you.
Something Beautiful

We don’t need me-too, we need new and different. And unless you’re gonna do new and different, stay where you are.
ReCode To Vox (The Leftsetz Letter)

Every place you are in can teach u something. Now if you want to learn it is another thing entirely.
Yolo Akili

For the first time in a long time, I don’t know what’s next. This should be interesting!
Marcus Bellamy

There’s More Out There: The Rules of Engagement 2015

Looking HBO Gay tv

2014 will go down in history as a banner year.

I was reflecting on the year trying to figure out why things went so well and I had a realization; 2014 was all about focus. Towards the end of the year I was trying to figure out the next mountain to climb. Then the shit hit the fan (more on that later).

When HBO started the promo for Looking here in NYC, the tagline read, “there’s more out there.” I was initially confused.

The Patrick/Richie storyline was near and dear to my heart. Who would want more than Richie? But as the season went on, it started to make more sense.

You have to continue to challenge yourself; especially in relationships.

You have to make smarter decisions.

But you have to take chances.

You have to continue to fight for your dreams.

In 2015, I commit to not let my success make me complacent. I commit to live life to the fullest and to focus on the things I do have control over.

It’s a big world. And there’s more out there.

Quotes of the Week: Caviar Ratchet

Photo Jan 09 11 59 06 AM

“I’d fuck him but he couldn’t spend the night.”
commenter Jai (the man with the plan)
Lucas Entertainment Hires Hung Argentinian Model Who Apparently Killed His Father and Brother (The Sword)

I don’t know, I guess they should be more down to fuck since their holes were made for pounding.
omg what?!
(Gary shenanigans)

Fixing your physical image just to choose the same niggas who rejected you in the first place…
Bloop!

Julianne Moore should’ve won for yelling “suck my dick” at that pharmacist in Magnolia.
@captain_fuck via Twitter

Appreciating Jordan Sparks’ sense of humor more every day.

LoL. Someone said the blacks watched Empire and the African-Americans watched Blackish.
TeeHee

I’m not sure if Bill Cosby is guilty or not, but I DO know that y’all have been letting Roman Polanski and Woody Allen live for almost 40 years.
Vinnie Paz via Twitter

If you’ve been “falsely accused” of drugging & raping women, it’d PROBABLY not be a good idea to go on stage & tell jokes about it.
Franchesca Ramsey via Twitter

Job descriptions be like “Must be fluent in 5 languages, able to work 60+ hours a week, have 3 degrees. $10/hr”
Kitty Azalea via Twitter

Yeah, I was one of the Lost Boys myself, out here putting a price on my body, but what the hell. How long was I supposed to go without any sex? If I can’t get it for free, why not get paid for it?
When You’re Strange (Gilded Moments: Confessions of a Gay Nympho)

Imagine if we loved each other the way some people love Beyoncé.
Donovan with a point.

Accountability is essential. I can’t rock with you if you can’t be person enough to hold yourself accountable; I don’t trust that.
Why Chase and I get along

Protect your joy. Defend your dreams. Stay humble. Sometimes it’s that simple.
alex elle via Twitter