You’re easier than jumping over a MTA turnstyle.
You’re only a whore if people know about it.
Urban Price via Twitter
I don’t have an ass, but I have a really deep throat!
The only time I wish my dick were smaller is when I’m on the toilet.
Wa2 via Twitter
I’m over Lauryn Hill at this point. And frankly, D’Angelo got one more year of me giving a damn.
nOva via Twitter
If you’re going to come for the queen, make sure you can behead her.
B. Scott via Twitter
Don’t bite the hand that photoshops you.
Duarte via Twitter
That mango I just ate HIT THE SPOT! I ain’t had to floss like this since that superhead competition last year!
Will McNair via Twitter
It’s never too early to get cussed out…
Jasmyne Cannick via Twitter
(White airport security guard) We have the same last name, maybe we’re related.
It’s much more likely your ancestors owned mine.
(He seemed upset after that. I have to work on my small talk.)
Marc Lamont Hill via Twitter
I would quit Facebook but where else am I going to talk to people from high school I never liked?
Scott Stratten via Twitter
Okay, I’m new to Twilight. Bella is torn between Taylor Lautner and scruffy whatshisname? Haha. This is a joke right?
Rod McCullom via Twitter
Ok, I’m going home now.
(pointing) Cause he just told me he would swallow my cum and now he’s on his knees singing Lady Antebellum Need You Now, I think it’s time to go!
Blind faith can lead you to fall off many a cliff.
Cornel West via Twitter
Sorry doesn’t count. They’re white!
commenter Kitty Kartrashian (Ranity’s tumblr)
Fleet Week + Sex and the City 2 premiere? I don’t even want to know what NYC smells like tonight.
Karsh via Twitter
My dick is like riding Kingda Ka at Great adventures: Long and fast!
Michael Anthony Miles via blogtv
I do have a theory. Everyone that you meet or make eye contact with in your lifetime, you’ll see them again before you die.
Trent Jackson – 1,000
(I believe that too!)
Sometimes I figure out what I want by realizing what I don’t.
Tyme White via Twitter
The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.
TrinniFlava via Twitter
Fear is born of lack of understanding, the need to control and the absence of love.
iAmShade via Twitter
There’s no better feeling than the one you get when you know in your heart beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re over it…
Adam Benjamin Irby via Twitter