Quotes of the Week – Ending 12.26.10

Are you bad with people and hate money? Consider grad school!
Rob Delaney via Twitter

My Dad’s all “how’s that job search going?” and I’m all “stop yelling at me” and he’s all “calm down” and I’m all “bye.”
White Girl Problems via Twitter

You continuing to date strong minded men and not expecting to submit is like me continuing to date Puerto Ricans and not expecting a few tempers along the way.

Anyone know how to get eggnog out of a leopard-skin Speedo?
Conan O’Brien via Twitter
(warm water and lemon juice…don’t ask)

Listerine is gay abortion.
TheXDExperience via Twitter

Got an email from Netflix saying I returned a personal DVD instead of the DVD I rented. I hope it wasn’t porn…that would be embarrassing!
Yes it would Will McNair

My Spanish isn’t great so I can’t be 100% certain but I’m pretty sure I was just offered sex in exchange for a cup of coffee.
Adventures in Puerto Rico with Mr. Jones

If Robyn doesn’t win a Grammy there is no fucking justice in this world.
Amen ralphfv

I’ve never seen the show but this dude is YUMMY!
commenter Howdy Doody Report: Simon Baker Strikes $30 Million Deal with Warner Bros. (omg)

Who the fuck masturbates in the doggy style position?!
Hershey reviews Black Swan

Is that a banana in that guy’s pocket or is he just happy to see me?
womp womp Simon Dexter

The cunts work for Target and the trade work for Walmart.
WhatsTheT via Twitter
(true story)

I can’t wait for the holidays to be over so I can finally stop sucking my gut in.
Jeremy via Twitter
(cosign)

Can’t wait for Christmas to be over so I can go back to being mean.
Mike Huntington via Twitter
(that too)

If you can’t take two chorizos in your culo at one time then I can’t love you.
Juven breaking my heart

Some dudes should just keep their clothes off because that’s the only time they’re cute.
Justin with a good point

What’s this about people in line for Jordans? I bet some of the same people that were in line for those Section 8 spots.
my money’s on Gary

You know sometimes I really hate my community(s) for how brainwashed they are…so programmed to fit stereotypes.
Wa2 via Twitter

The battle is perennial; yet each of us in our time must fight.
Cornel West via Twitter

When you’re honest and live authentically, you live a lonely existence.
Trent Jackson telling it like it is

It’s hard to hide my disgust, but I’m working on it.
Urban Prince via Twitter
(me too)

My heart never had a hero.
Kevin Simmons via Twitter
(mine neither)

Fine line between masochist and optimist.
Julian via Twitter

It’s hard waiting for something that might never happen, but it’s harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.

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