My Sex Is Mental


from Growing Up Lammy

It’s time for some mind sex, we ain’t got to take our clothes off yet
We can burn the incense, and just chat
Relax, I got the good vibrations
Before we make love let’s have a good conversation
Dead Prez – Mind Sex

Before we go any further, I have a confession to make:

I don’t have a lot of sex.

No really, I just got into double digits not too long ago (penetration-wise anyway). I’m not a prude or anything, it’s just usually not that exciting unless there’s some sort of intellectual/emotional connection. Call me conservative, but I believe sex truly is better with someone you love.

My first love, we never had sex. I blame him. As the standard everyone is judged against, if the mental banter isn’t there I’m not interested regardless of the physicality.

More importantly, I don’t understand the logistics of sorting dating partners by physical appearance.

Let’s say you like big breasts, what happens if your girlfriend gets a reduction?
Or what happens if you prefer really big dicks and the biggest one you’ve come across happens to be attached to a complete idiot with bad body odor. Is it worth it?

I see so many people fixated on particular body parts/physical characteristics and it doesn’t pragmatically make sense to me. Don’t get me wrong, I have tastes just like everyone else, that’s not what I’m saying.

For example, as mentioned before, I keep running into these guys who are fixated on if I cum a lot. It’s an extension of the virility associated with the hypermasculine stereotype of black men. And I’m like, “Does it matter…what if I don’t cum a lot? Is that a dealbreaker?”

Often times it is.
Yes Dorothy, it’s not enough just having a big penis these days.

Besides, what is a lot of semen anyway? Like a tablespoon? More? No one quantifies these things, how am I supposed to do a performance evaluation if you don’t specify the criteria for judgment.

It’s gotten so bad to the point I have to lie about my degree/profession because people get these crazy “Oh you have a degree in sex, you must be good at it” expectations.

Thanks for the added pressure!

Truth is I like talking about sex more than having it. And if we’re going to do anything physical, I choose quality over quantity any day of the week.

Unless I need to get off.

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