Category Archives: Quotes of the Week

Quotes of the Week: Crash and Burn

Crashburn

What a bunch of Ding Dongs!
Stop you’re tickling my Funny Bone!
Ho Ho! Too funny!
He should be paid well, even if his company is bankrupt it still is making a lot of bread.
This is why we can’t have a serious conversation about unions. (Think Progressive)

People now offering sex and money in exchange for Twinkies on Craigslist.
Speaking of Hostess

Ugh I’m an hour late to my own gang bang.
I hate it when that happens gayboyproblems

This Christina Aguilera performance looks like a night in West Hollywood after 2 ecstasy tabs.
Dave Buchansky AMA commentary via Twitter

Cody Belew, what you just performed is what i hope my heaven would be like. sassy gay men, black leather, chains and twerking.
Speaking of crazy performances from the mind of Christina Aguilera. The Voice is amazing this season

…this is fucking disgusting. It happens everywhere in the world except they’re normally fighting over food and water…
commenter BooFinch It Wouldn’t Be Black Friday Without Shoppers Fighting Over Cheap Electronics (Gawker)

Yikes. This was harder to watch than that tragic seal video yesterday.
What’s Cool Now?: Graffiti, Breakdancing and What the Kids Call Beatboxing (Gawker)

Joe Biden reminds me of my uncle that would give me beer and teach me cuss words.
iDXR with a point

Y’all didn’t get your gift card? Guess I got mines faster since I’m not too far from the White House.
Romney: Obama Won Because Of ‘Gifts’ To Blacks, Hispanics And Young Voters (Wa2 via Andre’s FB)

Lessons from Birth of a Nation: ultimately, it’s those slick talking mulattoes you’ve really got to worry about.
Mychal Denzel Smith via Twitter

rickroberts: Counting down…how long will it take for a bitter, crabby queen to complain about age, twink, smooth, yada yada?
BitterCrabbyQUeen: WTF QUEERTY!?!?!! These kiddies are waaay too young and very twinky and too smooth…yada yada yada!!!
2 Strong Young Men Pose For the Camera Now Click

People against gay marriage say it’s hard to explain it to kids. By that logic, we should also ban physics, yeast, time zones, and Inception.
David Sawyer via Twitter

I can’t stress enough that New York City, in many places, is nowhere near back to “normal.”
Anthony De Rosa’s right…even today

Sometimes folks don’t learn until you leave!
Juven via Twitter

Quotes of the Week: Folsom Follies

Mickeyfolsom

photo credit mrben81

(in the middle of foreplay)
Who’s Gary?
A friend. One of my more loyal readers.
(nervous pause) Wait, are you recording right now? (starts shouting across the room) Gary if you can hear this, I didn’t consent to this podcast! (moans in ecstasy)

Our waitress is named Ashanti. #irony
Speaking of Gary

I missed the big iPhone 5 announcement. Did AT&T add support for making phone calls yet?
Brian Alvey shade

I’m bout to go in on these pupusas like a black dude at a Kardashian family reunion!
Lunch with Cap_180

Twitter is getting rid of follower count? How will we know who’s superior and who isn’t?
Hole size.
Too easy

Welcome to San Francisco at its finest!
HuffPost Folsom Street Fair 2012 coverage

It was so shocking and upsetting, I couldn’t even believe what I was seeing! Of course I’m referring to Avery’s hair!
commenter Cassia liked the Grey’s Anatomy premiere

When I want sex, they want a relationship. When I want a relationship, they want sex. We need to meet and beat on the same schedule. Thanks.
Kevin Dwayne tweeting my life

Boy I tell ya these gays in Atl are off the chain. I would get a girlfriend but they crazy too.
Derek J. also frustrated in Atlanta

Going to McDonald’s for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Juven cracks himself up

I just accidentally referred to non-porn stars as civilians.
I heart Anthony Romero

Gas is 4.99 a gallon…I’m not comin over to “chill” either we fuckin or you owe me gas money.
Wisdom from a weed parody account

My son just asked me who Tupac is.
Jill Scott parenting crisis

Ironic that people hate unions & embrace strike breakers (scabs) UNTIL refs from the Pee Wee league officiate in the NFL.
KBDPHD via Twitter

I wish people were as upset about the integrity of voting as they were about the integrity of a football game.
Jason Stanford via Twitter

Middle-aged gay men throw the best parties. There is no discussion about this.
Cord Jefferson knows wassup

My life will not be fulfilled until I walk away from an explosion in slow motion.
that’s on my bucket list too!

Facebook has become the Walmart of the web. Everybody hates going there, and everyone goes there anyway.
Lisa M. Lane via Twitter

It doesn’t get better, here’s a knife.
(youth worker burnout)

Most academic language is a mask for anxiety and cowardice.
Conner Habib speaking the truth

I stopped trying to prove people wrong the day I moved out of the projects.
Me too Steven (replace projects with suburbs)

NYC is like a drug. Either you hate it and never try it again – or you love it and it’s a full blown addiction that you can never kick.
Clay Cane via Twitter

We’re all addicted to something that takes the pain away.
Hot Southern Mess via Twitter

Quotes of the Week: This Just Can’t Be Summer Love

Thongrainbow

If y’all don’t hear from me it’s because I died after seeing.
Gary loses another friend to Black Twitter coonery

Who’s been watching Project Runway and can explain why this Asian man’s hair is so nappy????
Pepper Ann has questions

I’m a hoe on Twitter and Twitter only!
Me too Houston Freak!

Legitimate Rape is trending….Not cool bro… What did Kobe do this time?
Oop!

No caffeine, just meth.
Kate Walsh: breakfast of champions

After the Olympics ends I’m going to have to find a whole new set of teenagers to jerk off to.
The first week was terrible Michael Ian Black

I don’t see why the last day of the Olympics shouldn’t be all the gold medalists playing dodgeball till we have an ultimate champion.
Frankie Boyle via Twitter

What’s the difference between an Olympic event and sex? In sex, having the fastest time won’t win you a medal.
A friendly reminder from Dr. Ruth

Police are killing Black children with impunity and a girls hair is trending on Twitter.
Occupy the Hood sick of y’all talking smack about Gabby Douglas

Give me “Magic Mike: The Wood” edition. I would drop money on Omar Epps, Taye Diggs and Richard T. Jones #justsaying
Jeremy via Twitter

“Madea’s Black Magic Mike,” coming 2013
Cord Jefferson via Twitter (ask and ye shall receive!)

Ridiculously fun weekend at Disneyland. Cannot BELIEVE I’d never done the Tiki Room before. Would be better with lap dancers, tho.
Amy Brenneman is my kind of girl

I’m only stripping to put myself through therapy.
Megan Amram via Twitter

(Hysterically yelling) Anthony you’re not allowed to date a 19-year old. I already have four friends dating teenagers, I can’t take any more!

Anderson Cooper’s a Vanderbilt. He didn’t come out of the closet, he came out of an antique armoire made from rare Southeast Asian agarwood.
Adam Carl via Twitter

On a serious note though, who the HELL would still go to Eddie Long’s church?! He steals money, molests kids… And those damn hair pieces!!
Marc. Lamont Hill has questions too

“Protecting the sanctity of marriage” sounds an awful lot like “Keeping the races pure.”
Johnny Polygon via Twitter

I just had to tell my coworker that I can hear her telephone convo re: her vaginal itch and that if I can hear it, then others can, too. SMH
Just another day at the office for Mr. Jones

Koochie Kardashian was able to build a mini empire, birth a brand & popularized the barrel curl. What has your koochie done for you lately?
Roberts_Rules via Twitter

Certain people thought they were ‘so cool’ in middle school & now they’re here at the grocery store pushing carts for dollar tips. Exactly.
Xem Van Adams reminding everyone it’s a marathon not a sprint

Good dick is easy to find. Finding good, healthy dick is the difficult thing.
Wes via Twitter (the struggle continues)

Sidenote: Ricki Lake better bring back that doorbell on her new show.
Karsh via Twitter (Cosign!)

NYC weather to its residents today: fuck your hair. fuck your armpits. fuck your butt crack. i’m fuckin up all your shit today #mwahahaha
baratunde via Twitter (brutal summer)

Sometimes, you don’t know who you live next to. And sometimes, who you’re even married to.
Terry McMillan would know!

Quotes of the Week: Special Frank Ocean Edition

Ill Doctrine: Frank Ocean’s Independence Day from ANIMALNewYork.com on Vimeo.

I have experienced this. And I have loved him.
Jay Smooth (Animal/Ill Doctrine)

Frank Ocean is triflin! He was trying to take that girl’s man.
As told to Pharaohc1ous

I thought Ocean might just be playing with characters when I first heard his songs using male pronouns. In a sense, he is — but in the same way that anyone on the down low does. The character you create may be your own tragically false self.
Ann Powers (NPR)

Being gay in the black community is still frowned on. The black community has a lot of growing to do. We really really do.
The Skorpion Kevin Simmons via Twitter

At least Frank Ocean had the courage to come out. You’d be surprised, some of these rappers are so far in the closet they’re in Narnia.
Novel via Twitter (and he would know!)

I commend Frank Ocean for coming out and saying it, but it’s not a first because there’s plenty of black male gay singers. Even when they don’t admit it, you kind of know. If you heard somebody like… I don’t want to say a name, because people will talk… but like somebody in the Wu-Tang Clan or something, if they came out then that would be groundbreaking. That would be totally challenging.
color Chuck D unimpressed

The glory of Ocean’s “coming out,” is that he never used the words “gay” or “bisexual.” The New Orleans native only described love between two people. His choice of language was paramount: Sexual orientation must be acknowledged beyond the labels and above the groin.
Clay Cane (HuffPost Gay Voices)

There is “coming out” and there is “I love this man.”

The former allows heterosexuals to feel good about themselves; it creates space, otherness, between “straight” love and “gay” or “queer” love; it maintains the status quo.

The latter, meanwhile, is a declarative statement devoid of labels. It is expression. It is — to sound slightly trite — a human thing to say. Love is love; there is no otherness; the status quo is threatened, if not outright attacked.

There is no shame in declaring one’s love for another.
Mensah Demary (Thought Catalog)

Frank Ocean gay, this nigga gettin endorsements, more sales, etc. Bitch! Only thing I got when I came out was condoms & HIV brochures.
AmazinXai with a good point

Peace to Frank Ocean and all of us trying to be fully self actualized and free.
Josie Pickens via Twitter

Every single one of us is born with peace and tranquility in our heart. Frank just found his.
Russell Simmons (Global Grind)

My son is brave and honest and I am very proud of him. I wish more people in the world could be brave enough to be who they really are.
Frank’s mom Katonya Breaux Riley via Twitter

But you’re not an activist. You’re a Black man in America whose star is on the rise, working in hip-hop and soul, where gender constructs are cartoonishly fixed.
dream hampton (Life and Times)

People must come to recognize that gay and bisexual people also have hearts, emotions, relationships that are just as significant as anyone else’s. I hate that we still have to fight to get folks to see that in 2012…
Jamilah Lemieux (Ebony.com)

The courage he displayed in his beautiful and eloquent letter was touching on many levels. Frank broke down a wall that should never have been built. The overwhelming show of support from his peers was awesome and inspiring. Island Def Jam is so proud to stand beside Frank Ocean — the artist and man — now and always.
Island Def Jam President Joie Manda

Hopefully, in the wake of his letter, the urban community will fully embrace Ocean for his honesty and bravery. It’s impossible he’s alone.
Gerrick D. Kennedy (LA Times)

The world accepted R. Kelly after peeing on a little girl.
The world accepted Chris Brown after beating on his girlfriend Rihanna.
Will we accept Frank Ocean after him writing about his first love being a man?
Wes (AconnectionTV)

You never lose when you live your truth.
Charlamagne Tha God (power 105.1 The Breakfast Club)

Quotes of the Week: Summer Shitshow

joeychip.jpg
Joey Lawrence: Chippendale

Girl you suckin’ dick you can’t trust!
Overheard by Trent Jackson

There’s no “I” in gangbang.
Right about that Juven

You can take it baby, I believe in you!
Steve Pena coaching husband Brent Everett who didn’t want to bottom yesterday, lol

I wanted him to fuck me no matter what. And no consequence seemed insurmountable.
Rolando (rock.paper.sissy)

Sometimes I just wanna karate chop people in the street.
I would love to see that Derrick

None of the new interns are ticklish, so that was awkward.
Same here Conan

The only way I’m buying a laptop that starts at $2200 is if it blows me when I get lonely.
@bingethinker isn’t getting the new Mackbook Pro with retina display

I wish Prometheus was called Alien: Havana Nights.
Brian Lynch via Twitter

Something tells me The New Green Lantern will have brown smudges on his power ring.
This is why we can’t have nice things like gay superheros

I dunno how young girls be messin wit these lil boys. Them MFers stink.
Absolutely true Gary. Ugh

Fake tits, fake lips, fake lashes, fake hair, fake nails…and these hoes out here looking for a “REAL” man. Smh
Humor or Truth via Twitter

Happily dating/fucking the same partner without making it “official.” #2012
Amidion may be on to something here

It’s okay to be wrong. It’s not okay, however, to not acknowledge it.
Gabe Bondoc via Twitter

Gemini will distance themselves if they end up in pointless situations or among people who are not engaging.
Indeed we do

I don’t always tell people I’m cutting them off. I’ll just silently do it.
The best way to do it really

Sometimes the way to heal yourself is by expressing your rage.
Yolo Akili via Twitter

I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m not compromising that to fit into this ideal gay American image. Even if it means no one will want me.
I’m with you Ranity

It’s nice to feel wanted.
Isn’t it Ruben?

Quotes of the Week – Generation Ratchet

MST-Spring-Fever-1.JPG

Watching Hugh Hefner have sex must be like watching someone try to puncture a Capri Sun pouch with an earthworm.
Jenny Johnson via Twitter

There are some things you don’t do. Getting gang-banged in front of your mother is one.
commenter Fair intoit – Sin’s Decollaring (The Upper Floor) NSFW!

We’re going to have a pizza party to celebrate the arrival of [my new assistant].
Ooh, at Chucky Cheese?!
Na, they don’t let me play in the balls any more.
That’s what she said!
(Shit my former assistant says)

It’s a shame I can’t log on to Adam4Adam without my 8th grade English teacher bothering me.
Oh NOs Ed!

This isn’t a laughing matter at all, but one of my friends told me taking a piss was “at a medium spice, not quite habanero yet.”
He might want to get that checked out @_bingethinker!

Never trust a big dick and a firm handshake.
Now now @Anti_Intellect

Cock-worship is the sincerest form of flattery.
Don’t forget the balls Jeremy!

Think I’m gonna wear basketball shorts at the gym with no draws. Give all the old white people a lil thrill!
DL Dude feeling charitable

White people only like diversity when it comes to restaurants.
Christian Lander

Eating yo pussy like cold pizza.
Not the visuals I wanted Juven!

When is the To Catch A Predator reunion show?
Let me know when it’s on Blowout!

So many beautiful young men wasted on the desires of the dick!!
Fabled Verse has been cranky lately

Clueless has convinced a generation of students that lobbying for higher grades for shit work is a good substitute for studying.
Professor Karsh has been cranky too

You know your Pastor’s a little too hip when he titles his sermon “If Jesus was on Facebook, would you be tagged in pictures with him?”
This is why I don’t go to church any more @de_profundis!

I don’t need a stable relationship, I just need a stable internet connection.
Cosign!

Too many funerals, not enough graduations. Too many baby showers, not enough weddings.
Yves Saint Laurent via Twitter

When your past calls, don’t answer. It has nothing new to say.
Chris Brown parody

Quotes of the Week: Time Flies When You’re Having Fun

demotivational-hadoken.jpg

I think I just shot a hadouken out of my penis.
That can’t be good Damon!

Ask me about my weiner!!!!
If you insist Dante

Are you a bottom?
For the right price.
Ewww you have sex for money?
Ewww you have sex for free?
Oh Adrian

Yeah, it’s not cute that he’s trying to be kinky in his sleep. Timing is everything.
The best advice of the year from omniphiliac

Every time Grindr posts about marriage equality an angel loses his hard-on.
Jessica Halem via Twitter

So there’s a show called The Joy Of Teen Sex? Our society is completely fucked. And this is coming from a porn site.
Tube8 via Twitter

I love seeing bottoms in Jordan.
Steven has interesting fetishes

Dammit, I found another co-worker on A4A!
How do you think I feel? Every time I go on Grindr on my lunch hour all I see are men in my building who look straight.

Nothing says I love you, like paying for the abortion.
A friendly reminder from Jiz

How much of a hurry do you have to be in to have to rely on Siri to find an abortion clinic? That feels like a “sit down and type” question.
Paul Carr via Twitter

How sure are we that pepper spray is any worse than the regular ambience of a crowded Walmart?
John Gruber with a good question

Living Social is offering the following deal: five Big Macs and five large fries for $13. Does it come with a free angioplasty?
I’m lovin it Alicia Jessop

Choosing between Real Housewives of Atlanta or The Soul Train Awards is like choosing between genital warts or chlamydia.
Lonnell doesn’t like what’s on Black TV

I’d like to thank my time line for reminding me Tyler Perry has another show. I’d also like to judge you all for watching it.
UptownNotes.com via Twitter

TJ Holmes leaves CNN for BET. BET doesn’t have any news shows, so he’s becoming the front news man for an entire network. Or he could have a three-episode stint on the new season of The Game, only time will tell.
My money’s on the latter Karsh

Kelly Clarkson endorses Ron Paul; no word yet on whether this will be offensive to her African-American fan.
No, I wasn’t offended John

Just like a job, when it’s comes to friendships, you can’t keep the title if you are slacking on your duties.
Sounds good Kevin

Sometimes your biggest mistake isn’t falling for them, it’s thinking they fell for you too.
C’mon somebody!

The closer we get to our destination, the more people we seem to leave behind.
Ernest Greene III via Twitter

Quotes of the Week: Hell in a Handbasket

ADTV Workout.jpg

Damn Metrell; That booty pop at 6:11 threw off my focus for a hot second!
commenter MakeLoveNoBabiez (ADTV Workout)

Wanna confuse a Chinese woman? Ask her about jalapeños.
Urban Prince via Twitter

I get extra points if I pull an Arab Girl right??
Cody playing the game

I’m uncircumcised ‘cause I come from the hood.
nice one VivaLaPenis

I found a cute guy on Grindr. Lets hope he doesn’t turn out to be a whore.
Good luck ralphfv!

Just told my friend I liked their new mustache, and she unfriended me from Facebook!
That’s not nice Joey

If straight girls get on the salad tossing swag what else will the gays have to turn out straight men?
There’s always docking Hershey!

Is it too much to ask for my Waffle House waitress to have all her teeth? Apparently so.
Darian Aaron is high maintenance

You had sex?
How you know?
You smell like a light hint of musk, warm vanilla and sperm.
CSI: Derrick L. Briggs

I wonder if the parking lot behind a sperm bank contains an actual cum dumpster.
Stacey Nightmare with a good question

FML. Just got sued for naming my transgender coming-of-age story “From Justin to Kelly.”
womp womp Megan Amram

Listen…that rat probably pays rent.
They need to pay utilities too XD

Shout out to people in NY who make NO attempt whatsoever to learn English.
Devynity via Twitter

Just spotted two White women pushing their own babies in Washington Square Park. Miracles do happen.
Darius Clark Monroe via Twitter

Magic Johnson’s white blood cells are tougher than Ray J.
overheard by Edwin

So California has a commercial to break stereotypes so people could come visit. Can Black people get a commercial like that?
If only DaShawn…if only

Quotes of the Moment: East Coast Earthquake

It wasn’t an earthquake I was playing double dutch with Precious.
WorldStar_Face via Twitter

How do I check into my first earthquake on foursquare?
Barry Schwartz via Twitter

I did not feel the earthquake, thankfully since I was on the Whitestone Bridge. I would have shit myself. Anyone who saw Final Destination 5 would understand.

I think the aliens are running some tests.
Ben Gerst via Twitter

(my assistant who left me to die alone)
I missed it? I want it to happen again. I wanna feel it!
(That’s what she said!)

Was that an earthquake or am I still getting pounded?
Gayboyproblem via Twitter

Earthquake on the East Coast + Will & Jada separating = The beginning of our end.
Xem VanAdams via Twitter

And you thought there wouldn’t be repercussions to Will & Jada’s breakup.
Keith Greenstein via Twitter

The ones that didn’t feel anything are the ones that’s gonna be left behind…SHONDO!!!!
Derrick Briggs preparing for the rapture

Capitalism at it’s best!

At First I thought it was all my shitty IKEA furniture falling apart at once, but it was an earthquake.
Lizz Winstead via Twitter

NYC had a punk ass earthquake. Did y’all forget about Haiti? Japan is still having after shocks.
Londonbai telling it like it is.

Somewhere, innocent hugs got very awkward.
Mike Barish via Twitter

Was I the only calm person when the earthquake hit? Y’all east coast people are wimps. I’ve been through this before.
Los Angeles raised snob Trent Jackson

Left Coast has nothing on us now. New York has EVERYTHING.
City Hall News via Twitter

The Earth is my new favorite vibrator.
Sara Benincasa via Twitter

There was just a 5.8 earthquake in Washington. Obama wanted it to be 3.4, but the Republicans wanted 5.8, so he compromised.
God via Twitter (ouch)

I can’t die a born again virgin 🙁
Hershey via Twitter

Remember: Tweet first, evacuate building second.
Adam Wilson via Twitter

Quotes of the Week – Old Habits Die Hard

At least he paid for it. 🙁
commenter nooz – 70-year-old Queens prison chaplain arrested for paying inmate for oral sex (NY Daily News)

I’ve spent more time on the toilet than I have in vaginas this week.
under the weather adult video actor Keiran Lee

Holy god I’m drooling at these Andrew Garfield Spiderman pics.
Oh I’m doing much more than drooling Jonathan

AndrewGarfieldcakes.jpg

If you meet someone, ask their last name; it makes it easier to find them on Facebook.
Stalker 101 from ilikejoaquin

So I just found a bag of weed in front of a church….Lord is that you?
Urban Prince via Twitter

(At home after a night out, talking to a 20-year old on Grindr at 3am)
How was the club?
Couple of fuckables, no real cuties though
Lmao
What you doin? Watching Nick Jr.?
WTF

The people in Cali put avocado in everything! I didn’t tell you to put it in my omelette and it wasn’t in the description. Refund please!
I feel your pain Bradley Cloud

Hipster is a social construct.
Cord Jefferson via Twitter

Ugh, this Scope flavor is nasty. It tastes like…the aftertaste reminds me of cum.
Why do you think I bought it?!

Why are you crying? I’m the one getting raped!
True Blood – I’m Alive and On Fire

I just went through a really bad breakup, so this is perfect!
sex toy winner at the NSRC Summer Institute cocktail party

Girls are like the police. They might have all the evidence in the world, but they still want you to confess.
BrownGirlProblems
(I must be a girl then)

I don’t understand Americans. We’ll rise up when Netflix increases prices, but stand down when actual atrocities present themselves.
Mr. Jones speaking the truth

The best kind of education is experience.
Pat Flynn