Category Archives: talk about sex

Talk About Sex – 110: The XD (Sexual) Experience


I don’t remember the last time I was intimate with someone.

Poor XD! He thought he was coming to kiki with a perv, but once he saw I had did my research, he soon realized he was dealing with a professional sex master.

On this episode of Talk About Sex, we talk life, love and the allure of being the other woman.

Show notes & links:

sexual marketing in the Bay area

“I didn’t become Black until I moved to New York.”

Talk About Sex – 108: The State of Black Gay Media

sexual socialization and XY magazine

Black Inches/Latin Inches

“The Lord asked me to ask you: are you a homosexual?”

analyzing XD’s dating profiles

alter egos online

#DirtyInterviews Singer/Songwriter Metrell Hurst

From the Bottom to the Top: A Conversation with T. Malone

Love on Top

best practices for sexing someone internet famous

“I’m over these educated butch queens, no offense sex master Tony.”

dealing with rejection

Allure – All Cried Out

Looking for a tall, dark, macho man … sexual-role behaviour variations in Latino gay and bisexual men.

Dustin Ross


“I don’t fit the NY mold.”

Talk About Sex – 103: Me and Mr. Jones Part 1

XD the home wrecker

Charlamagne Tha God talks dating rules on “Bethenny”

XD’s evolving views on sex on the first date

“He was on the phone while I was inside him…”

The Sex That Ruined my Life

Community Emotional Threshold (timing issues)

The German

Talk About Sex – 109: Be Memorable



“People tell you to be yourself, but then when you go out they also tell you how…”

“…not to be yourself.”

What I love about this episode is how much what is not said is just as important as what is said (if not more):

Will McNair sits down to talk about sex on the best coast, black gay culture and life in the not so fast lane.

Editorial note: I say “I feel like…” a lot when I’m drunk.

Show notes & links:

NY state of mind

The random place Will lost his virginity

messages received as a child

porn as sex education

Mean Girls in junior high school

socially awkward vs. socially inept

Jared Shuler

Nathan Seven Scott

The & Show

Will’s “girly” Strengthfinder (lol)

meeting XD (search engine de-optimization)

dating in your 20s vs. dating in your 30s

“You’re not from NY are you?” (politeness)

“I’m a Disney princess inside.”

Prince Charming

Jesse Williams pic (colorism)

Mario Lopez: Saved by the Baby

being domestic and desiring the stereotypical nuclear family

Next magazine

My Masculinity, My Femininity, My Androgyny


Will’s one regret in life


Talk About Sex – 105: Superbowl Realness

Talk About Sex – 108: The State of Black Gay Media

Mario hills are gay black men

In this episode of Talk About Sex, three black gay men debate the politics of representation and the future of diversity in media.

Editorial note: I apologize if you have any audio issues. And there was copious amounts of wine, so there’s that.

Show notes & links:
The Real Homophobes of ATL
top three favorite current shows (traditional media)
Private Practice
Looking: A Metareview (Karsh writes)
Queer as Folk
Noah’s Arc
Looking interview on HLN
shows centering abounding youth & beauty
Michael Ausiello tweet
the Looking season 2 bet
Six Feet Under
Andre Brauer (Brooklyn Nine-Nine) “A Golden Globe mediocre sitcom!”
aesthetics of ADTV
Five black guys
Jared Schüler
The Outs
intentionality of production
Hunting Season
Drama Queenz
DL Chronicles (money)
how much is the black gay buying power?
Judy’s (ATL?)
year black book
Dear Dad
Lafyette (True Blood)
The Wire
E Lynn Harris
Trent Jackson
Doo Dirty show
Drama Dupree
The Read
The Skoripion Show
bgb podcast
Sex and the 2nd City
Living Single
my Valentine’s Day tradition
Single Moms
New New
WalkingWater (Janet Jacket video)
Fabled Verse
XemVan Adams
B. Scott
Nathan 7 Scott
Jennifer Lewis and Channgela
RuPaul’s Drag Race
Angel Sheridan
Black and Sexy TV
Evolve series
Dear White People
Finding Me
Cypher Ave.
No Shade
Christopher Street TV
The Skinny (clearly we mean Derrick’s character)
Boy Culture
The Haves and Have Nots
Modern Family
The New Normal
LA Complex
Rick & Steve
Jesse Metcalfe in Dallas promos

From the Bottom to the Top: A Conversation with T. Malone


Because I used to work in the industry, I don’t use the term “porn star” lightly. It’s work. Hard work. And the kids confuse someone who has sex on screen with someone who takes pride in their work on screen and off.

T. Malone is a porn star.

Arguably the most accomplished bottom in Blatino porn over the last twenty years, his body of work remains unmatched. In this episode of Talk About Sex, we discuss how it all began and get an update on what he’s up to these days.

You should consider all the links below NSFW

Show notes & links:
How it all began
Enrique Cruz
Off the Hook
best scene experience
The Show
Tiger Tyson
knowing your worth as a bottom (on screen and off)
why/how the industry changed
best scene partners
Pitbull Productions
the Take Em Down series
worse scene experience
how social media changed the industry
what he’s doing now
HIV and the industry
Owen Hawk
substance use and the industry
why I left the industry
best and worse parts of being in the industry
Hot Rod
dating “T. Malone”
advice to a aspiring model
Remy Mars

Talk About Sex – 106: A Gay Benetton Ad


Benetton Unhate campaign

Karsh is BACK!
In this episode we talk about goals for the new year, gay representation and the politics of porn.

Show notes & links:

update on Q1 boyfriend goals

Is Discrimination on Grindr Killing Gay Sex?

He didn’t like the article

CA Podcast #8 – Sex & Dating Roundtable Discussion

Atlanta: open relationship capital of the country?

Maverick Men (NSFW)

Meet Kordale And Kaleb, The Gay Black Fathers That Have Outraged Twitter

Betty Proffer Benivegna goes OFF! (And I cosign)

Daddy Cream and Nate the Killa break up (NSFW)


WalkingWater (Marcus Bellamy) and alotaboutus (now gutted)

Ken Like Barbie

The German

Exclusive interview with RandyBlue model Sean Zevran (NSFW)

Johnny Angel (I love him. SIGH) (NSFW)

Sean Cody: Chad and Landon (NSFW)

Papi Chulo Radio

Blatino Oasis

Straight porn star Macana man aka Luis the naked truth

Trez and Fallen

Talk About Sex – 105: Superbowl Realness

Beyonce Unflattering Super Bowl Photos 01

In this episode, it’s NYC vs. ATL as I talk with Karsh, the black gay blogger himself. We reflect on love, lust and liberty in our respective cities.

Originally recorded in August 2013.

Show notes & links:

the state of NYC gay nightlife
Splash closing
gay dating racism
Strange Days (one of my favorite movies)
Trent not living a gay lifestyle
Love & Hip Hop Atlanta
The Dating Game
41 Reasons why you’re still single (Thought Catalog)
cuffing season
dating goals

Talk About Sex – 104: Me and Mr. Jones Part 2


“It makes sense, but guys don’t make sense often.”

In part 2 (Part 1 here) Mr. Jones and I continue to talk about good sex and who to get it from.

Editorial note: the audio isn’t up to my standards. I apologize in advance if you experience an echo, etc.

Show notes & links:

OWGs (Old White Guys)

Dressing the (Mandingo Warrior) part

debauchery at the Hippo

lying on social networking sites

Rising Sun

versatile guys and position double standard

asking for what you want in a sexual situation

expectations for Black men at work

Talk About Sex – 103: Me and Mr. Jones Part 1

Tumblr mhl01xiI7Y1qjdx94o1 400

“I’m nobody’s stop on the train to pussytown.”

In this episode Me and Mr. Jones, one of the funniest people I follow on Twitter talk about getting it in and the politics of being out.

Editorial note: the audio isn’t up to my standards. I apologize in advance if you experience humming, etc.

Show notes & links:

a respectable body count

gay men and biological clocks

9 Signs Your Husband Is Gay, According To

Revenge of the Black Nerds

why I created an Instagram

making a dating business plan

race and social apps

STI/HIV rates in Baltimore

the rules of versatility

Remy Mars vs. Trapp Boy

Looking for a tall, dark, macho man … sexual‐role behaviour variations in Latino gay and bisexual men

Move to New York City If You Throw Your Legs In the Air Like You Just Don’t Care

sexual socialization

porn advancing sexual roles expansion in the African American community

Talk About Sex – 102: Close Your Legs to Married Men


In this episode Jamaican Wifey and I dissect Treating Men Like Four-Year-Olds, which changed my life. (highly recommended you read before listening)

Show notes & links:

communication (or lack thereof)

emotional unavailability

The Rules of Engagement 2012

the epistemology of wife

Operating From a Deficit

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

Drawing a Line in the Sand

Talk About Sex – 101: Theorizing Your Love


In the pilot episode, SoulForce (aka the other Black Sex Master) and I talk about how past hurt influences expectations about future love.

Show notes & links:

What Queerness Means to Me

Operating From a Deficit

Strengthfinder 2.0

sexual segregation and dating White men

The Sex that Ruined My Life

The Dating Game (forthcoming)

“Mexican hours” (no racist!)

Drifting Toward Love: Black, Brown, Gay, and Coming of Age on the Streets of New York

What Becomes of the Brokenhearted: A Memoir

All About Love: New Visions

Creating Change

A Love Story

The Rules of Engagement 2010