Tag Archives: ADTV

Quotes of the Week: Time Flies When You’re Having Fun (Redux)

Virginity

Don’t impregnate chicks that know your Twitter handle.
etfp via Twitter

I’ve met the man of my dreams and he’s an asshole. Plan B?
OKcupid profile

Los Angeles is a lot like Mean Girls. Just without an “off” button. Not that you’d want to turn off Mean Girls
Davey Wavey via his Facebook

It’s hard staying in beast mode when you’re in a lavender onesie.
hands down one of the best seasons of Big Brother in recent years.

Renounce that hair.
commenter Chuck Hoover – Antoine Dodson Renounces Homosexuality: Announces On Twitter, Facebook (ajaxx63 Facebook)

Her hearing fucked up her equilibrium. She was off balance. Shout out to sign language.
commenter jam – Foxy Brown Takes a Tumble (Straight From the A)

Perhaps I’m just ignorant of burglarizing methods, but does being shirtless aid in the process?
He was going for the natural, organic burglar look.
Man Hogties Burglar and Leaves Him in Yard for Police, Goes to Work (Gawker)

GREAT Rapid Fire but Pluto isn’t a planet anymore 🙁
dariusd2003 with the fine print (ADTV)

I hope ABC treats Joss [Whedon] better than FOX did.
How could they treat him any worse?
‘S.H.I.E.L.D’ gets shiny logo (EW)

Realest walk ever: from 125th & Lexington to 122th & Lex. Shit’s a parade of woes…hurts my feelings.
Walking thru broken dreams.
NYC: the land of aspirations destroyed

Someone tell Jay Z to give out a million fucking books for free.
Cosign with Charles Wade

I’m glad I was a square in my twenties.
Crissle West via Twitter

The truth is this: in a white supremacist world, black people cannot survive without ego. You ‘must’ be your own biggest fan.
Spectra Speaks (Kanye West)

You can’t change the people around you, but you can choose the people around you.
Stevie Mackey via Twitter

Quotes of the Week: Summer Shitshow

joeychip.jpg
Joey Lawrence: Chippendale

Girl you suckin’ dick you can’t trust!
Overheard by Trent Jackson

There’s no “I” in gangbang.
Right about that Juven

You can take it baby, I believe in you!
Steve Pena coaching husband Brent Everett who didn’t want to bottom yesterday, lol

I wanted him to fuck me no matter what. And no consequence seemed insurmountable.
Rolando (rock.paper.sissy)

Sometimes I just wanna karate chop people in the street.
I would love to see that Derrick

None of the new interns are ticklish, so that was awkward.
Same here Conan

The only way I’m buying a laptop that starts at $2200 is if it blows me when I get lonely.
@bingethinker isn’t getting the new Mackbook Pro with retina display

I wish Prometheus was called Alien: Havana Nights.
Brian Lynch via Twitter

Something tells me The New Green Lantern will have brown smudges on his power ring.
This is why we can’t have nice things like gay superheros

I dunno how young girls be messin wit these lil boys. Them MFers stink.
Absolutely true Gary. Ugh

Fake tits, fake lips, fake lashes, fake hair, fake nails…and these hoes out here looking for a “REAL” man. Smh
Humor or Truth via Twitter

Happily dating/fucking the same partner without making it “official.” #2012
Amidion may be on to something here

It’s okay to be wrong. It’s not okay, however, to not acknowledge it.
Gabe Bondoc via Twitter

Gemini will distance themselves if they end up in pointless situations or among people who are not engaging.
Indeed we do

I don’t always tell people I’m cutting them off. I’ll just silently do it.
The best way to do it really

Sometimes the way to heal yourself is by expressing your rage.
Yolo Akili via Twitter

I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m not compromising that to fit into this ideal gay American image. Even if it means no one will want me.
I’m with you Ranity

It’s nice to feel wanted.
Isn’t it Ruben?

Quotes of the Week: Hell in a Handbasket

ADTV Workout.jpg

Damn Metrell; That booty pop at 6:11 threw off my focus for a hot second!
commenter MakeLoveNoBabiez (ADTV Workout)

Wanna confuse a Chinese woman? Ask her about jalapeños.
Urban Prince via Twitter

I get extra points if I pull an Arab Girl right??
Cody playing the game

I’m uncircumcised ‘cause I come from the hood.
nice one VivaLaPenis

I found a cute guy on Grindr. Lets hope he doesn’t turn out to be a whore.
Good luck ralphfv!

Just told my friend I liked their new mustache, and she unfriended me from Facebook!
That’s not nice Joey

If straight girls get on the salad tossing swag what else will the gays have to turn out straight men?
There’s always docking Hershey!

Is it too much to ask for my Waffle House waitress to have all her teeth? Apparently so.
Darian Aaron is high maintenance

You had sex?
How you know?
You smell like a light hint of musk, warm vanilla and sperm.
CSI: Derrick L. Briggs

I wonder if the parking lot behind a sperm bank contains an actual cum dumpster.
Stacey Nightmare with a good question

FML. Just got sued for naming my transgender coming-of-age story “From Justin to Kelly.”
womp womp Megan Amram

Listen…that rat probably pays rent.
They need to pay utilities too XD

Shout out to people in NY who make NO attempt whatsoever to learn English.
Devynity via Twitter

Just spotted two White women pushing their own babies in Washington Square Park. Miracles do happen.
Darius Clark Monroe via Twitter

Magic Johnson’s white blood cells are tougher than Ray J.
overheard by Edwin

So California has a commercial to break stereotypes so people could come visit. Can Black people get a commercial like that?
If only DaShawn…if only

Quotes of the Week – Ending 1.2.11

Lost my phone last night! If you find it, that’s not my penis. I was just holding it for a friend.
kassemg via Twitter

(coworker yelling)
You don’t steal a fat girl’s cookies. Especially when she’s stressed out!
Oh honey I know, I learned the hard way.

I bet she doesn’t give him any pussy for at least a month after this.
commenter bitch PLEASE – Katy Perry is an Angel of the Morning (Superficial)

Who fellates cotton candy?
I know a few people Anthony F. Coleman

Girl at the gay club was crying in the corner and when we asked if she was ok she said, “My husband is making out with a guy on the stage.”
Nanooboy via Twitter

Wouldn’t you know it: I get the scanner again and the girl flirts as she selects me. Loves the tattoo on my stomach, she saw it as I lifted my belt.
Steve Pena getting molested by the TSA

I wonder how she’s gonna react the first time she sees us fuck. Is she gonna think daddy is hurting daddy?
Brent Everett gets a chihuahua

What do you call it when your mother’s sister stops blowing you right before you’re about to ejaculate? Aunticlimactic!
The Fat Jew via Twitter

Stripped by Christina Aguilera is the best CD to listen to when you get high.
It’s pretty good sober too ralphfv

Why are some of these southern boys cute but not too bright?
You tell me Kevin

If someone says “no homo,” is that offensive towards gay people?
You’ve got to be kidding me Reggie Bush!

The Wikileaks situation is now firmly centered in personalities rather than issues like everything else in our inch-deep culture.
Dave Goodchild via Twitter

Suicide is a way of telling God, “You can’t fire me, I quit.”
jsmith189 via Twitter

Chris Brown needs a mentor, or a MADE coach or something.
Urban Prince via Twitter

Maybe you’ll work harder if I start ignoring you again.
Derrick L. Briggs may be on to something

Politics is like a relationship with a man. You don’t give him all your time, all your money and all your support and ask for nothing in return.
Rod McCullom via Twitter

It is difficult to establish equality at a systemic level when internalized inequality is embedded in collective consciousness.
Cynthia Ryals via Twitter

Fake friends are like shadows, always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hour.
yung_freshh via Twitter

Hey I have an idea: How about for 2011 we do what we actually say? Just a thought!
Michael Miles via Twitter

The more you know, the more you don’t care.
ShawnQT via Twitter

Honestly, I just need to marry rich, get a G650, take a couple years and see the world.
Mr. Jones via Twitter
(cosign)

Good guys deserve a break too.
Amen Trent Jackson

Quotes of the Week – Ending 12.19.10

OMG, Precious is so damn funny the second time through.
soulforce84 via Twitter
(true story)

I wasn’t really feeling the Christmas spirit until I saw this.
commenter K.Armakld – gingerbread crackhouse (Flickr)

I predict by this time next month, a case of Four Loko’s will be more valuable than a case of Cristal.
Jeremy via Twitter
(cosign)

The dumbest guy you’ve met in your entire life is Asian? You just blew my mind.
Maclean’s Too Asian

I am currently shooting a scene with Taye Diggs and awaiting a chicken brown rice stir fry. Top that.
unfortunately I can’t Kate Walsh

The way you treat people is a direct reflection of how you truly feel about yourself.
Rev Run with a good point

Congress still tends to function like an institution of legalized bribery and normalized corruption.
Cornel West via Twitter

Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won’t taste good.
Billy G via Twitter

My job is getting in the way of what I want to do with my life.
Urban Prince via Twitter

Sex research is so much more fun when you have live test subjects! ::evil laugh::

What am i getting hooked up with?
birthday boy Derrick L. Brigg’s famous last words

What’s wrong!?
I’m been drunk/high for the last four days.
Oh…

I feel like falling in love tonight.
Kevin Simmons via Twitter

Sometimes it’s ok to let things crumble.
Queer Kid of Color via Twitter

Quotes of the Week – Ending 12.12.10

Pussy is the most powerful controlled substance on the face of the planet.
Trent Jackson via Twitter

If he doesn’t bother to take his boxers off, then you are a smut.
Mr. Jones via Twitter
(True Story)

I kinda like Miley Cyrus a little more, now that she gets high.
Urban Prince via Twitter
(me too)

So…what do they do with the wings after the Victoria Secret show?
Gary with a good question

Angry masturbation is still healthy masturbation.
Jeremy via Twitter

I have met my sexual match……..that is all.
Ryan Drake – news at 11.

New rule: Don’t say you’re not looking for anything on Grindr. If you’re not looking for anything, sign off and read a book.
Davey Wavey via Twitter

Sex is like 10x better when there is a strong emotional connection.
Wa2 via Twitter

My fingers smell like Chipotle. I want them inside me.
Will McNair via Twitter

Don’t expect much for Christmas. Santa’s sleigh was repossessed, the North Pole is in foreclosure and the elves have been laid off.
recession reality courtesy of Gabby

The Winklevoss twins from The Social Network were played by one actor?! Mind blown.
Gabe Bondoc late

Why are we asking the troops if they’re cool with repealing DADT? Do we ask if they like pushups or patrols? [The military is] the one place you can just order!
Bill Maher via Twitter

The institutions that shape our lives are all infected by the problem of racial inequality. There is no refuge, only submission or struggle.
Imani Perry via Twitter

U.S. government is broken.
Jessie Daniels stating the obvious

Whose side are the Republicans on and how do these people get elected? Wake up America!
Keith Boykin via Twitter

Love is or it ain’t. Thin love ain’t love at all.
Toni Morrison

Why should I have to go above and beyond when you won’t even go above?
TimeLineHuStLa via Twitter

He has no idea he’s pushing me away.
Daboisnick via Twitter

You never miss what you’ve walked away from.
Queer Kid of Color via Twitter

Quotes of the Week – Ending 12.5.10

I eat pussy with a spoon so I don’t get my hands dirty.
Quez B. via Twitter

You ever met somebody and just knew they would turn out to be a video ho?
Mr. Jones via Twitter
(every time I go to Jamaica, Queens!)

gay tupperware

I haven’t shopped in three days. I don’t even know who I am anymore.
White Girls Problems via Twitter

Angelo won $10K! Did he ever finish paying off that mail-order bride?
Karsh readying his A-game sarcasm for Top Chef All Stars

What makes you happy?
Head and payday, ideally together!
SexAndBrickCity via Formspring

Like present-day gay men, “clubbing” was essential to the sexual advancement of cave men.
womp womp Jeremy

I get excited when a sexy hood nigga checks me out. Then I get really scared this sexy hood nigga is checking me out! ::hides iPhone::
ShawnQT via Twitter

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.
Freaky Fact via Twitter
(cosigns)

It’s common courtesy to warn [someone] if you’re loud during sex. Nobody’s trying to get evicted over a piece of ass.
Sigma Jackson via Twitter

I want to be a recording artist. I may have to make a deal with the devil, but look how well it worked for Rihanna.

Republicans are now suicide bombers for the ultra rich. Democrats keep bringing a knife to a gunfight.
Brandon David Wilson via Twitter

In a free society, we are supposed to know the truth. In a society where truth becomes treason, we are in big trouble.
WikiLeaks commentary by Ron Paul

Unreasonable people change the world. Be willing to be unreasonable, and you’ll make your own world a more beautiful and fulfilling place.
Ralph Marston via Twitter

The entrepreneurial spirit is about creativity, optimism, street smarts. In other words, playing MacGyver, but for business.
Tony Hsieh via Twitter

I work very hard to get paid to do absolutely nothing.

I hate the comfort zone. I don’t think anything that’s really creative can be done without danger and risk.
Julie Taymor

If there’s a singular responsibility that we have as authors, artists, intellectuals, journalists, etc. it is to expose new possibilities.
Marc Lamont Hill via Twitter

At the end of the day rhetoric ain’t blocking no bullets or silencing any hunger pains.
Buddha Tutentkhamen via Twitter

Love is always in the air. Not everyone is brave enough to inhale it.
Life dictionary via Twitter

We all have obligations but being unhappy isn’t necessarily part of life and it damn sure ain’t in none of our job descriptions.
Chad Ochocinco via Twitter

Sometimes we just fall in love with lies.
Cornel West via Twitter

Can people really see themselves as they are? or only the person they think they are?
Alicia Keys with a good question

People who are wrong never want to argue.
D0wJ0nEs via Twitter

Relationships aren’t complicated. People just make them that way. Particularly when they are with the wrong person.
Tyme White via Twitter

I’d rather be lonely than to wake up one day and have a bunch of fake ass bitches with motive around me.
Trent Jackson via Twitter

As long as you remain true to who you are, no one can use you against you.
Queer Kid of Color via Twitter

Playtime is over.
Derrick L. Briggs via Twitter

When you make a choice, you change the future.
Deepak Chopra via Twitter

Quotes of the Week – Ending 11.14.10

Dick changes people.
D0wJ0nEs via Twitter

Joe Jackson looks like Fat Cat from Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers.
Karsh via Twitter

I’m kind of scared of how I know every single line of The Golden Girls.
ralphfv via Twitter

We still categorize music by race?…wow
Urban Prince via Twitter

How does one pronounce “Sbarro”?
gabebondoc with a good question
(SA-BARE-ROWS?)

Do these kids do anything other than sing and f*ck?
Patrik-Ian Polk new to Glee

What’s the gayest thing you’ve ever done?
My boyfriend.
womp womp Davey Wavey

Voting for politicians who were born wealthy because you “like their morals” is what has been fucking America into the ground.
Mike Rundle via Twitter

Four Loko is like the new HIV/AIDS or crack: put into minority communities to kill people off…and you dumb asses are falling for it.
blacksocialite via Twitter

Not to minimize bullying, but every black child has been bullied for centuries in this country thru racism. Why no attention to that?
Dr. David Hampton with a good point

Hip hop has become a primary means by which we talk about race in the United States.
Tricia Rose via Twitter
(which is not good imo)

Just because someone has a Ph.D. does not mean they speak truth to power, nor does that mean a commitment to those who suffer.
Vernon Mitchell Jr. via Twitter

I WANNA HAVE BUTT SEX!
tell us how you really feel Ryan Drake

Sometimes I wish I could forget all self value and just be a ho.
Daboisnick via Twitter

I don’t have Ex’s. I have Y’s. Y the hell did I do that?
Kingnoah3000 via Twitter

What you object to reflects what you value.
Jessie Daniels via Twitter

Learning to exercise patience and discipline. Sometimes being still for a moment can prevent major mistakes.
Marc Lamont Hill via Twitter

We don’t live in a society where it is okay to be yourself and have others be happy with it. Live your truth, and f*ck the opinions of others.
Derrick L. Briggs via Twitter

People spend too much time worrying about what other people think of them. Just live. Just be great. Your beauty will shine thru.
Stephanie Alva via Twitter

You have to recognize and acknowledge your wounds before you can begin to heal them.
Terry McMillan via Twitter

I love men who can make me laugh. You won’t meet too many. Believe me!
Xem VanAdams via Twitter

You know you really love someone when you don’t hate them for breaking your heart.
Jaimee via Twitter

Love forces you to deal with the funk. This is why many of us are afraid of love.
Cornel West via Twitter

Quotes of the Week – Ending 10.17.10

I hate typical racist jokes. At least be creative with your racism/ignorance.
Urban Prince via Twitter

My body is tighter than an Asian girl’s pussy. Thanks Plant Fitness!
Ryan Drake via Twitter

OMG, you’re so racist.
I’m not racist.
You always say white people don’t have souls!!
(dramatic pause) You’re just bringing that up because you’re dating a white guy!

It’s all fun and games until you’re getting your hair cut and someone sends you a penis pic.
Daboisnick via Twitter

If you get sexted by someone you don’t wanna sext with, were u just molexted?
Rene via Twitter

An older woman on Facebook just messaged me. ‘You is too handsome to be gay.’ She is too old to be fucking up her subject verb agreement.
A Day in the Life via Twitter

You know, other than being crazy she was a pretty cool girl.

I’m quite sure that at least one of those [Chilean] miners could use a rape kit. You know one of them was turned into a cock servicing cave slut.
Chase Coxxx via Twitter

What’s more romantic, candlelit dinner by the lake, or taking a midafternoon ferry through Rome?
A dude that swallows.
Sex and the Brick City formspring

Sex doesn’t solve everything.
Mr. Jones via Twitter

You should not be dating if you don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out.
Derrick L. Briggs via Twitter

I laugh at the [guys] with body pics on Twitter. Show that face you fuckin’ beast! Watch those followers drop lower than your self esteem.
Cody via Twitter

Facebook relationship status should have the option: “is getting played by___________”
Peter Griffin via Twitter

Carl Paladino is into porn in which women have sex with horses, but considers gays disgusting and perverted. Tea Party logic at it’s finest.
Jack Often via Twitter

Dear Vh1: You guys have fucked up the legacy of Vh1 Divas!
Kevin Simmons via Twitter
(cosigns)

I’m not getting that Sailor Moon looking Playstation Move shit. Waving a wand around in my living room looking like the Tooth Fairy.
Karsh via Twitter

I wish I could go back to high school. This grown-up shit is for the birds.
Rlegend via Twitter

Now something magical happens when you believe your big goals are achievable and you make those goals public. You start thinking, plotting, and doing all the little steps that are going to take you there.
Having Big Goals and Stating Them Proudly (37signals)

Great minds have purposes, others have wishes.
Washington Irving

It feels good to be at the point in my life where I know what works and what doesn’t. It hasn’t always been that way.
Trent Jackson via Twitter

Quotes of the Week – Ending 7.18.10

Watching Mel Gibson in What Women Want. I don’t know, something about it just feels different now.
Bill Maher via Twitter

This woman has a very elaborate cold sore on her lip. I wonder who her pimp is.
Urban Prince via Twitter

I had a dream Destinys Child got back together. I was as happy as a nympho at an orgy!
SmurfSex via Twitter

The people that believe that QDoba is better than Chipotle are the same people that think OJ didn’t do it.
TheXDExperience via Twitter

Listening to FleshTone was like taking a bad ecstasy pill.
Karsh via Twitter
(Oh c’mon, it isn’t THAT bad! #TeamKelis)

Lmao….I just read in my timeline someone called The Dream “Teddy Graham.”
Trent Jackson via Twitter

I don’t think I’m difficult to date, I just don’t tolerate bullshit.
Daboisnick via Twitter

Black music is an artistic response to the psychic wounds and social scars of a despised people.
Cornel West via Twitter

If you watch a horror movie backwards it’s about a white couple that makes increasingly multicultural friends over the course of the film.
Scrivs via Twitter

Yeah, he got undressed and put on some Neo Soul.
(visibly upset) What?! WTF?! You don’t put on Maxwell and Jill Scott when you’re fucking a jump off. You put that shit on when you’re fucking your husband!

The YMCA has officially shortened it’s name to “The Y”. You know times are tough when letters are getting laid off.
Conan O’Brien via Twitter

Pretty people tend to bore me. I need to follow more ugly people with low self esteem who use comedy as a copping mechanism.
D0wJ0nEs via Twitter
(Get it?! It’s funny because…oh nevermind.)

Lowkey I would go to the Rihanna concert if somebody paid for my flight, hotel, concert ticket and an iPad to keep me entertained while I’m there.
WhatsTheT via Twitter

“Not standard police procedure”?
That’s Texas.
Those are Black men.
Those are White cops.
That’s about as “standard” as it gets down there.
commenter CitizenIndie: Police Brutality Video: Shocking Texas Incident Caught On Tape (Huffington Post)

There’s nothing that can’t be achieved through supreme sacrifice, dedication & focus. It’s NOT easy, but it’s sure as hell worth it.
Xem VanAdams via Twitter

Whatever you think, believe it!
Christina Milian via Twitter

You never know who’s using you until they get what they want and leave.
ilikejoaquin via Twitter

Sometimes in life you Etch-a Sketch a bitch and act like they never existed.
The Skorpion via Twitter

Things will be what they will be. Things revealed aren’t always new. Sometimes your eyes and time just change and code it as new.
soulforce84 via Twitter

In reality your friends can be your biggest enemy and your haters/enemies your biggest motivation.
JLyricSmith via Twitter

Life is like Toy Story 3, sometimes people just want to be played with.
Derrick L. Briggs via Twitter

Just because you’re passionate about something doesn’t mean you need to be there.
Queer Kid of Color via Twitter

At the end of the day, if you know something is bad for you and you continue to use it or do it, you can’t blame anyone but yourself!
JuztDevious via Twitter

Sometimes it’s a good idea to re-examine a situation and manage your expectations.
Patrik-Ian Polk via Twitter