Tag Archives: Paul Scrivens

Quotes of the Week – Ending 11.21.10

Wesley Snipes get three years for taxes. Johannes Mehserle gets two years for first degree murder.
Ferrari Sheppard via Twitter

Just cuz it doesn’t smell, does not mean its clean.
Urban Prince via Twitter

The fact that a barber suggested I “rub some pussy on that shit!” to grow my hair is just…
Will McNair at the barber shop

Never trust someone that wears colored contacts, they’ve already lied to you!
XipherRevolver via Twitter

You’re my best friend and I love you to death, but fuck you. Just kidding, I love you. Just kidding, I hate you. Call me.
White Girl Problems via Twitter

Sometimes…two wrongs do make a right.
Queer Kid of Color via Twitter

Every bottom enjoys being choked out just a little bit.
okduh via Twitter

Headline from SOHH.com: “T.I. Calls Jail Experience ‘A Pain I Have Never Felt Before'”… Surely, they could’ve found a better title.
womp womp Marc Lamont Hill

It’s hard to ask for privacy when you want to be watched by millions of people on national television, on a reality program.
Brent Everett via Twitter

Pay attention to details!
Justin Walker via Twitter

When everything points towards NO with a person its good to just leave them alone.
Steven Bentham via Twitter

Everybody dies but not everybody lives.
Ahmier via Twitter

Most people don’t discover who they are until they’ve lost themselves.
wisdom from a security guard

It only feels like I’m living a dream cuz I’m so damn sleepy all of the time.
Jeremy via Twitter

If you ever think you can’t be a success in this world just remember that Brooke Hogan once had a #1 single.
Scrivs via Twitter

I hope I’ll always be the type of person that people will feel comfortable talking to me, no matter what. Communication is important.
Tyme White via Twitter

Here’s the problem with being ahead of your time: once everyone else catches up with you, you’re bored.
Fran Leibowitz

It’s all fun and games…until someone says “relationship”

You can’t force a man to love you with his heart by using your body to make him nut. It simply doesn’t work that way.
Xem VanAdams with a good point

When you find true friendship, you find true love.
Rev Run via Twitter

You have the power to create the life of your dreams. The only question is: Will you?
Davey Wavey via Twitter

I’m driving off a cliff just to fall in love with you.
birthday boy Kevin Simmmons

Quotes of the Week – Ending 10.31.10

(Latino male and Asian female friends)
I know! You should be a geisha for Halloween!
Fuck you! You should be a Mariachi band.
We can go to the store and get some tape to bound your feet?
Asshole.

I don’t have sex with white people for political reasons.
Wait, what?

I’m just trying to raise my adopted ethnic baby to be as down to earth as possible.
White Girl Problems via Twitter

(White girl explaining why she won’t marry/have children with her current boyfriend)
It took four generations to gets these eyes, I didn’t come this far to have a son without blue/green eyes.

I don’t understand how Mexican hair gets cut.
(with clippers?)
Daboisnick via Twitter

To think in 100 years we will have evolved to no body hair…I’m 100 years too early.
TMI visuals provided by Scrivs

As my 5 year-old son and I carved the pumpkin today, I swear I heard him say, “That’s what happens to snitches.”
Conan O’Brien via Twitter
(New TBS show starts this week!)

If Gretchen’s finger is on the pulse, the body must be a corpse.
Karsh not happy with the Project Runway finale

Ever notice how the most hoodrat, ain’t shit Black men want the most corporate, Ivy League educated Black women?
Mr. Jones with a good point

…so this black dude driving a 2010 Mercedes E350 coupe just put five dollars in his tank.
ImOblivious via Twitter

$300 jeans and you smell like animal porn? Priorities all the way fucked up.
Najah via Twitter

I refuse to always give my seat up to the elderly. If I worked 14 hours straight and you sat home all damn day, which one of us is really tired?
DDOLAZS via Twitter

For all of you new school kids who are wannabe bitches, watch Dynasty to learn how to be a real bitch.
(or Passions!)
Trent Jackson via Twitter

Why do we even have laws?
commenter yrbmer – Ohio McDonald’s Tells Employees To Vote Republican If They Want To Continue Receiving Raises And Benefits (Think Progressive)

I hate when people try to take race out of questions about class/economics as if race has no impact or relationship to poverty.
Aimee Thorne-Thomsen via Twitter

There is this myth that those who commit suicide have deep mental issues. Not so…get abused enough, and you’ll think about doing it too.
Nathan James echoing what I said

Loneliness really gets you twisted…you become blinded to what’s really going on.
Tyler Jacob via Twitter

I took your power away when I stopped caring.
Carter via Twitter

A boy will offer you pleasure. A man will offer you a future.
Amanda Adriani via Twitter

Quotes of the Week – Ending 10.3.10

I hate when Asians play dumb.
Urban Prince via Twitter

Oh hell nawww!

comment below if you think he’s sexy, if not
…then FUCK YOU!
1on1 with Adam Irby (YoBoiNewnue)

I saw the devil last night and it was good. everyone should go see it!!!
ralphfv via Twitter
(I think he meant the movie Devil…lol)

I’ll be your bad friend, but I refuse to be your fat friend.
White Girl Problems via Twitter

A ugly girl will fuck the shit out of your man when you’re not looking.
ImInappropriate via Twitter

If I meet one more bottom that pees siting down…
D0wJ0nEs via Twitter

I love dribbling…not down my chin, but with the ball.
*gasp*
basketball humor courtesy of John Amaechi

Terry McMillan’s gaydar is the beta version.
PrettyBrownGirl via Twitter

It’s stupid ass DL/married dudes that are giving us garden variety gays a bad name.
Patrik-Ian Polk via Twitter

A paper cut is a tree’s last revenge.
PeterGriffinn via Twitter

Sarah Palin is sitting stage right. Lady, let go of your politics for one night already!
Dancing with the Stars commentary by Erik

In anticipation of gay days, Disneyland renames ride to Butt Pirates of the Caribbean.
Jeremy via Twitter

Treat your website like your pussy…it needs to smell fresh an do more tricks than the next bish.
Kitty Bradshaw via Twitter

Organized religion: Where misogyny, homophobia, sexual predation, hatred, exclusion, hypocrisy, and civil unrest happen.
Mr. Jones via Twitter

People are bombarded with misinformation day in and day out.
Cornel West via Twitter

Knowing that I’m crazy keeps me sane.
Scrivs via Twitter

There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.
The Quote Whore via Twitter

You can have it all. Just not all at once.
Oprah

Quotes of the Week – Ending 7.18.10

Watching Mel Gibson in What Women Want. I don’t know, something about it just feels different now.
Bill Maher via Twitter

This woman has a very elaborate cold sore on her lip. I wonder who her pimp is.
Urban Prince via Twitter

I had a dream Destinys Child got back together. I was as happy as a nympho at an orgy!
SmurfSex via Twitter

The people that believe that QDoba is better than Chipotle are the same people that think OJ didn’t do it.
TheXDExperience via Twitter

Listening to FleshTone was like taking a bad ecstasy pill.
Karsh via Twitter
(Oh c’mon, it isn’t THAT bad! #TeamKelis)

Lmao….I just read in my timeline someone called The Dream “Teddy Graham.”
Trent Jackson via Twitter

I don’t think I’m difficult to date, I just don’t tolerate bullshit.
Daboisnick via Twitter

Black music is an artistic response to the psychic wounds and social scars of a despised people.
Cornel West via Twitter

If you watch a horror movie backwards it’s about a white couple that makes increasingly multicultural friends over the course of the film.
Scrivs via Twitter

Yeah, he got undressed and put on some Neo Soul.
(visibly upset) What?! WTF?! You don’t put on Maxwell and Jill Scott when you’re fucking a jump off. You put that shit on when you’re fucking your husband!

The YMCA has officially shortened it’s name to “The Y”. You know times are tough when letters are getting laid off.
Conan O’Brien via Twitter

Pretty people tend to bore me. I need to follow more ugly people with low self esteem who use comedy as a copping mechanism.
D0wJ0nEs via Twitter
(Get it?! It’s funny because…oh nevermind.)

Lowkey I would go to the Rihanna concert if somebody paid for my flight, hotel, concert ticket and an iPad to keep me entertained while I’m there.
WhatsTheT via Twitter

“Not standard police procedure”?
That’s Texas.
Those are Black men.
Those are White cops.
That’s about as “standard” as it gets down there.
commenter CitizenIndie: Police Brutality Video: Shocking Texas Incident Caught On Tape (Huffington Post)

There’s nothing that can’t be achieved through supreme sacrifice, dedication & focus. It’s NOT easy, but it’s sure as hell worth it.
Xem VanAdams via Twitter

Whatever you think, believe it!
Christina Milian via Twitter

You never know who’s using you until they get what they want and leave.
ilikejoaquin via Twitter

Sometimes in life you Etch-a Sketch a bitch and act like they never existed.
The Skorpion via Twitter

Things will be what they will be. Things revealed aren’t always new. Sometimes your eyes and time just change and code it as new.
soulforce84 via Twitter

In reality your friends can be your biggest enemy and your haters/enemies your biggest motivation.
JLyricSmith via Twitter

Life is like Toy Story 3, sometimes people just want to be played with.
Derrick L. Briggs via Twitter

Just because you’re passionate about something doesn’t mean you need to be there.
Queer Kid of Color via Twitter

At the end of the day, if you know something is bad for you and you continue to use it or do it, you can’t blame anyone but yourself!
JuztDevious via Twitter

Sometimes it’s a good idea to re-examine a situation and manage your expectations.
Patrik-Ian Polk via Twitter

Quotes of the Week – Ending 3.7.10

(a double dose, since I’ve been gone so long)

…yeah he’s not the cutest thing in the world, but I could see myself getting drunk and putting my finger in his ass.

If relationships aren’t about money why do so many women like to make it an issue that they don’t need a man because they have money?
Scrivs via Twitter

…bitch buy yourself a turtleneck cause I will never sweat cha.
Derrick L. Briggs via Twitter

Work ethic is defined by what you’re willing to do when nobody is watching.
Mr. Jones via Twitter

Justice is what love looks like in public.
Michael Eric Dyson

You stay in this world long enough and you’ll reach the point where news can be shocking, but it fails to surprise you anymore.
Racewire – College “Ghetto-Themed” Parties: The Awful, Racist Idea That Just Won’t Die

I don’t understand why people get mad when you do something that you said you were going to do.
Trent Jackson via Twitter

There are two ways to do things: my way or the wrong way.
Queer Kid of Color via Twitter

I debate my peers. All others I teach.
John Henrik Clarke

You’re too superficial, that’s why you have no friends.
I’m superficial because I won’t be friends with fatties?
SEE!

I’ve seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars.
The W B via Twitter

I think one of us is supposed to take our pants off now.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart – Chat Roulette

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Tech-Talch – Chatroulette
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political Humor Health Care Reform

(while watching Jesus Camp)
oh right, Ted Haggard! Isn’t he gay?
Yep…got excommunicated…his wife didnt leave him.
I know, isn’t that crazy! I’m telling you I need a girlfriend.
That’ll be OK with you fucking a dude?
Sure, my love of cock isn’t going away any time soon.
You might have to like pussy.
I’ll start eating oysters to prepare.
Let me know how that works out for you.
The oysters or the pussy?

In today’s market, Rihanna sings better than Whitney Houston. I DARE you to deny it.
The Skorpion via Twitter

I’ve learned not to hate, not to blame, not to envy and not to criticize but to appreciate what God has in store for me.
Paula Abdul via Twitter

As I continue growing in life I realize it’s less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.
Kevin Watson via Twitter

THIS is why I love Kelly Clarkson.

I don’t sit in the dark and curse the dark, I try to light a match!
Dr. Maya Angelou

Sometimes you’ve gotta let go, just to see if there was anything worth holding on to.
Rev Run via Twitter