Are you bad with people and hate money? Consider grad school!
Rob Delaney via Twitter
My Dad’s all “how’s that job search going?” and I’m all “stop yelling at me” and he’s all “calm down” and I’m all “bye.”
White Girl Problems via Twitter
You continuing to date strong minded men and not expecting to submit is like me continuing to date Puerto Ricans and not expecting a few tempers along the way.
Anyone know how to get eggnog out of a leopard-skin Speedo?
Conan O’Brien via Twitter
(warm water and lemon juice…don’t ask)
Listerine is gay abortion.
TheXDExperience via Twitter
Got an email from Netflix saying I returned a personal DVD instead of the DVD I rented. I hope it wasn’t porn…that would be embarrassing!
Yes it would Will McNair
My Spanish isn’t great so I can’t be 100% certain but I’m pretty sure I was just offered sex in exchange for a cup of coffee.
Adventures in Puerto Rico with Mr. Jones
If Robyn doesn’t win a Grammy there is no fucking justice in this world.
I’ve never seen the show but this dude is YUMMY!
commenter Howdy Doody Report: Simon Baker Strikes $30 Million Deal with Warner Bros. (omg)
Who the fuck masturbates in the doggy style position?!
Hershey reviews Black Swan
Is that a banana in that guy’s pocket or is he just happy to see me?
womp womp Simon Dexter
The cunts work for Target and the trade work for Walmart.
WhatsTheT via Twitter
I can’t wait for the holidays to be over so I can finally stop sucking my gut in.
Jeremy via Twitter
Can’t wait for Christmas to be over so I can go back to being mean.
Mike Huntington via Twitter
If you can’t take two chorizos in your culo at one time then I can’t love you.
Juven breaking my heart
Some dudes should just keep their clothes off because that’s the only time they’re cute.
Justin with a good point
What’s this about people in line for Jordans? I bet some of the same people that were in line for those Section 8 spots.
my money’s on Gary
You know sometimes I really hate my community(s) for how brainwashed they are…so programmed to fit stereotypes.
Wa2 via Twitter
The battle is perennial; yet each of us in our time must fight.
Cornel West via Twitter
When you’re honest and live authentically, you live a lonely existence.
Trent Jackson telling it like it is
It’s hard to hide my disgust, but I’m working on it.
Urban Prince via Twitter
My heart never had a hero.
Kevin Simmons via Twitter
Fine line between masochist and optimist.
Julian via Twitter
It’s hard waiting for something that might never happen, but it’s harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.